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Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Give It Up Clemens

I know this is a bit unusual to see two posts in one day, but today is the day that Roger Clemens testi-lied in front of Congress.

I am not one to normally go off on rants; OK you got me I do. Here's the thing about Roger. I used to like the man. I'm a Red Sox fan, how could I not like the Rocket? He was one of the guys I looked up to while growing up in New England. Then his numbers started to take a hit and Boston management felt he was losing it and let him go.

Miraculously the man pitches for what seems like 40 years and practically gets better with each season? How did no one suspect him of using steroids or performance enhancers years ago? Were we really that blind? Seriously, Barry Bonds goes from twig-boy to the Incredible Hulk and everyone jumps on him.

With all the evidence that appears to be piling up against Clemens I have this to say:

The longer this goes on, the bigger the hole Roger digs for himself. Just admit you did it already. It's not like MLB will have the grapes to take away your awards or change your stats. Also, it's not like you care about the Hall of Fame anyway as you vehemently stated during a press conference, so what's there to lose? Either admit it, or go to jail for lying to a grand jury.

Just had this exchange with Gopher:

Gopher: I can’t wait until this is over.

Me: I just want it to come out that he did it, but it probably won’t come out until the DNA test comes back.

Gopher: He's so royally screwed.

Me: The camera man who gets the stunned look on Clemens' face can retire that instant.

Gopher: They should hold the test results on The Maury Povich Show.

Me: During the infamous who's the daddy show?

Gopher: Yea, definitely.

Me: Can you just picture McNamee jumping up and down on stage laughing and doing the "I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! HAHAHAHA" act?

Gopher: Then, Roger runs back stage crying as the cameras follow him.

Me: Maury follows behind "So what are you feeling?" Meanwhile, the camera cuts back to the stage with the crowd screaming and laughing as McNamee break-dances on stage in celebration.

Yes, we actually take the time to play out these scenarios for your enjoyment. In closing I'd just like to say that there's a saying about Texas that goes "Everything's bigger in Texas." If you're reading this Roger, be the bigger man and admit your faults. You were a great player and it's a shame that it's come to this.

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