5 Worst Announcers In Sports

Just the other day I was thinking back to my college days and how much fun it was. My roommate for three years, Cheech, and I had one of the greatest room set-ups ever. We are both big sports nuts, so rather than fight over which game we were going to watch, we what any reasonable man would do. Get two televisions.

This was a genius decision especially when playoff time came around in any sport. We'd feature one game on his larger TV and have another game on mine and rotate at commercials and long stoppages of play. A key deciding factor into which game went on which TV was the announcers. If it was a good game but had horrible announcers, the game went on my TV unless there was nothing else on. This debate only happened when there were two or more games we wanted to watch on at the same time.

Looking back on these decisions I decided to make an overall top five list for the best and worst announcers. Enjoy!

Worst 5

Before we get to the list I would just like to state that the mute button is a wonderful thing. The people below are the people you put on mute and then call the game yourself. Even if you're drunk in your living room, you could do a better job than these people.

#5 Tim McCarver

Why is this guy even on television? I don't get it. His color commentary makes me question why I even like baseball to begin with. At times I swear he has money on the games he's calling with how biased he can be. Classic line from McCarver during the 2004 World Series after a home run. "That's the thing about ground balls Joe, they don't leave the park."

I seriously start to question whether or not I'm in some bizzaro world whenever I see him on TV due to the insane McCarverisms that make no sense and are not entertaining.

#4 John Madden

This is the only man in sports broadcasting that makes me keep a copy of NFL rules handy. The man oversimplifies everything and just rambles on about nothing making crazy sound effects.

Here's how we make Madden enjoyable for everyone. Remember the old Batman series that would flash words like "Bap," "Pow," and "Zap?" NBC should flash these during his lovely squiggle drawings. You think the ratings are high now? Just watch what would happen if NBC went ahead with this.

#3 Joe Beninati

This pick stems from 2004 when he was calling the NHL playoff series between the Calgary Flames and Vancouver Canucks. This was one of the best series of the entire playoffs that year and he nearly killed it.

If any of you watched the games you know what I'm talking about. This guy must have set the unofficial record for announcing who was announcing the game while announcing the game. In one five minute span he said "I'm Joe Beninati with Tony Twist here at the Pengrowth Saddledome in Calgary, Alberta."

The guys in the truck running the graphics that show up on your television sets had to have gone home with Carpal Tunnel after dealing with him for seven games.

To his credit, he has gotten much better now that he's the Washington Capitals main man. Live and learn I guess.

#2 Michael Kay & Suzyn Waldman

If you don't live in or around N.Y./N.J. consider yourselves lucky. I felt it necessary to put the two of them together as a tandem because these two could out-suck any duo of all-time if they ever joined forces.

Kay calls games for the YES network and Waldman used to. This may sound corny, but I've been saying NO to these two for years. If there were ever two people who were more biased in a broadcast, I don't know who they are.

I used to think McCarver was bad until I was subjected to the suck-fest these two put on.

I'm sure Waldman's work wouldn't be as bad if it wasn't for the voice. Ever heard a cat get stuck in the intake manifold of a car? I'd prefer that than listen to her A) Talk, B) Talk about my hated enemy Yankees.

Here's the problem I have with Kay. I understand being a little biased to one team if they are paying you to call games. That's fine, most announcers do it, but this is ridiculous. You'd think he got kicked in the junk by his high school girlfriend every time the opposing team wins against New York. Plus, watch out if the Yanks make a great play or do anything productive. He instantly becomes any of us watching the game at home yelling at the TV in excitement and dancing around the living room. Show some professionalism....for all of us.

#1 Joe Buck

If I wasn't a Patriots fan, I would not have watched the game. The only reason I have for that is because Buck was calling the game. His lack of enthusiasm during the game was deplorable. Hey Joe...YOU'RE AT THE SUPER BOWL! GET INTO IT ALREADY!

I can trace back the moment I realized I didn't like him calling games. 2004 World Series. Boston Red Sox vs. his hometown St. Louis Cardinals. Listening to him for those four games of glory were torture. You could hear his heart being ripped out of his chest on national television. He called one of the greatest moments in Red Sox history and sounded annoyed to even be calling the Sox champs.

Flash forward to the 2007 World Series. I thought things might be different and gave him a chance to rebound. He failed...again. I think McCarver is getting to him. I suppose if you've worked with the guy long enough you would probably have to say just about anything to get him to shut up.

My dislike of him made me take a poll of people I knew to see what they thought. 99% of the people I talked to were on board with me. This eventually turned into an online petition somewhere to get him off the air. No, I'm not joking

I'm going to pull a Howie Mandel here. I know I said above that this would be a top 5 best and worst list, but I'm going to continue this blog...next time here on Blogger!

Give It Up Clemens

I know this is a bit unusual to see two posts in one day, but today is the day that Roger Clemens testi-lied in front of Congress.

I am not one to normally go off on rants; OK you got me I do. Here's the thing about Roger. I used to like the man. I'm a Red Sox fan, how could I not like the Rocket? He was one of the guys I looked up to while growing up in New England. Then his numbers started to take a hit and Boston management felt he was losing it and let him go.

Miraculously the man pitches for what seems like 40 years and practically gets better with each season? How did no one suspect him of using steroids or performance enhancers years ago? Were we really that blind? Seriously, Barry Bonds goes from twig-boy to the Incredible Hulk and everyone jumps on him.

With all the evidence that appears to be piling up against Clemens I have this to say:

The longer this goes on, the bigger the hole Roger digs for himself. Just admit you did it already. It's not like MLB will have the grapes to take away your awards or change your stats. Also, it's not like you care about the Hall of Fame anyway as you vehemently stated during a press conference, so what's there to lose? Either admit it, or go to jail for lying to a grand jury.

Just had this exchange with Gopher:

Gopher: I can’t wait until this is over.

Me: I just want it to come out that he did it, but it probably won’t come out until the DNA test comes back.

Gopher: He's so royally screwed.

Me: The camera man who gets the stunned look on Clemens' face can retire that instant.

Gopher: They should hold the test results on The Maury Povich Show.

Me: During the infamous who's the daddy show?

Gopher: Yea, definitely.

Me: Can you just picture McNamee jumping up and down on stage laughing and doing the "I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! HAHAHAHA" act?

Gopher: Then, Roger runs back stage crying as the cameras follow him.

Me: Maury follows behind "So what are you feeling?" Meanwhile, the camera cuts back to the stage with the crowd screaming and laughing as McNamee break-dances on stage in celebration.

Yes, we actually take the time to play out these scenarios for your enjoyment. In closing I'd just like to say that there's a saying about Texas that goes "Everything's bigger in Texas." If you're reading this Roger, be the bigger man and admit your faults. You were a great player and it's a shame that it's come to this.