I Don't Get It

I have been meaning to update this blog for some time now, but have been utterly disgusted by what I have seen from the Pens this season.

Everything seemed to be going well until Marc-Andre Fleury missed a few games with a groin injury. Then, Dany Sabourin comes in and sucks up the joint and we haven't recovered since.

Now, granted injuries have played a major part of why this ever deepening suckfest has continued.

Why Michael Therrien hasn't been fired yet is beyond me. There hasn't been any consistency in the roster for most of the season. We're rotating 7 defensemen through the lineup nightly.

Again, injuries play into this, but it's no wonder the team looks out of sync. How can you possibly build chemistry when you don't know who you'll be playing with on a given night?

Now we're on a 4-game losing streak after losing to Tampa Bay Lightning tonight.

Wait....we won?

Really?......Wow.

Anyway, I could go on and on, but tonight's game against the Tampa Bay Lightning was an eye-opener.

Down 3-0 after two, Evgeni Malkin spoke up in the locker room and essentially called everyone out. Now his lack of English speaking skills might have made this speech an instant YouTube classic, but it apparently worked.

The Pens stormed back to tie it and then Malkin fittingly gets the game winner in overtime with 16 seconds left after Max Talbot got robbed by the refs just seconds earlier.

Everyone reporting on the Pens has given a few examples of supposed "turning points" to get out of this funk. There's the two solid wins against the New York Rangers in the last couple weeks, a big win over the Philadelphia Flyers blah blah blah.

Already I'm seeing people calling this another "turning point." I really want to believe it this time, but this team has not responded well to any of the aforementioned big wins. They come out almost expecting to win and you can't just win games because you want to win. You need to put in the effort for 60 minutes, grind it out and do whatever it takes. Period.

Tonight's game was very different from the other big wins thought. Granted it was against the hapless Bolts, but maybe just maybe they'll wake up this time.

There's also a ridiculous rumor on hockeybuzz.com from Mr. Hardly Ever Right Eklund saying that the Pens might bring Mark Recchi back to town.

Really? Are you kidding me?

Don't get me wrong, Recchi is a legend in Pittsburgh and I'd welcome him back, but we need scorers. Not guys on the verge of retirement. We could use some veterans on the roster sure, but come on.

The only upside to this deal is that I would be able to take the tags off the Recchi jersey I got as a gift 2 days before we cut him two years ago. Yeah, I'm one of those people that doesn't wear jerseys of people not on the team. It's a pet peeve of mine showing up to games and seeing wrong jerseys.

What would we give Tampa for Recchi anyway? One of the draft picks we got from them this past offseason as compensation for them speaking to Gary Roberts and Ryan Malone?

Get off your high horse Eklund for the love of God. I could sit around all day and post "rumors" that could go down from "sources." I don't doubt you know some people, but I'm fairly certain half the rumors you post are trades you concocted in NHL 09.

Not to mention his other rumor right now about the Dallas Stars thinking about bringing Sean Avery back.

Excuse me for a second.

(Excessive laughter....wiping tears away.)

You have got to be absolutely kidding me. Why would they bring him back now when the team is just starting to turn things around and play better? Makes no sense. Not to mention not even the Rangers would want him at this point.

Get a clue man.

Western Conference 2008-09 Breakdown

With the full North American NHL season about to open up later this week, it’s about time to continue the predictions and breakdowns. Let’s just jump right into the Western Conference.

Central Division

#1 – Detroit Red Wings – If it was possible for this team to get better than the team that dominated its way to the Stanley Cup last season, they found a way. Marian “Judas” Hossa turned down a long-term deal with the Penguins to sign a one-year deal with the Red Wings.

Sounds like a guy desperate for a ring to me, but that’s his own prerogative.

Also new to the mix is the backup goaltender from the runner-up Pens in Ty Conklin. I don’t necessarily agree with this move. The Wings have a great young goaltender in the farm who is probably ready to at least be a backup in Jimmy Howard.

The absence of the now once again retired Dominik Hasek freed up a roster spot for Conklin who can expect to get between 15-20 starts behind the aging Chris Osgood. If Osgood gets hurt and the load falls on Conklin and Howard, the Red Wings might be vulnerable. Outside of that, expect another near wire to wire division title and long playoff run.

#2 Chicago Blackhawks – I’m surprising myself with this one too. However, with the young core on this team and a solid goalie in net this doesn’t seem too farfetched.

Sensations, Jonathan Toews, Patrick Kane and Patrick Sharp are back to terrorize the league. The Hawks signed Cristobal Huet in the free agent market and have placed last season’s starter Nikolai Khabibulin on waivers. Expect him to be moved or bought out soon.

They also brought in free agent defenseman Brian Campbell who decided to take the money and run from the Sharks.

Young teams are dangerous in the new NHL and in this incredibly weak division, Chicago fans may once again be reminded of what hockey is.

#3 – Nashville Predators – There are a lot of question marks with this team this year. Alexander Radulov is gone. So are Marek Zidlicky, Martin Gelinas, Darcy Hordichuk, Jan Hlavac and goaltender Chris Mason.

What they were able to do is lock up Shea Weber and Ryan Suter who will now patrol the blue line for years to come. Not a bad move, but can this team rebound with the loss of all the guys listed above?

Dan Ellis will be the main man in goal this season and if something happens to him, rookie Pekka Rinne will have to step up.

The Preds shocked me last year by making the playoffs with a depleted roster, but I don’t think we’re going to be experiencing déjà vu this Spring.

#4 – Columbus Blue Jackets – The Jackets made a ton of offseason moves and on paper have a much improved team over last year’s squad.

The problem here is the guys they landed aren’t exactly A-quality players. The best move they made was acquiring Raffi Torres from the Oilers.

The also added Christian Backman, Fedor Tyutin, Mike Commodor, R.J. Umberger and Kristian Huselius.

The Rangers won’t lose sleep over the loss of Tyutin, but Backman could be a very solid physical defenseman. Commodore is another good signing and Umberger and Huselius will need to prove that their success wasn’t just a fluke due to the lines they were on in Philadelphia and Calgary respectively.

The other question I’m having trouble with is about goaltender Pascal Leclaire. He put on a very good show last season and was a surprisingly good fantasy pickup for GAA and save percentage. Is he for real? Are the new acquisitions for real? Could this be the season that the Jackets make the playoffs for the first time in franchise history?

These guys could challenge for a playoff spot, but there will be no playoff hockey for the Jackets this year.

#5 - St. Louis Blues – Woof. It does not look good for the Blues at all this season. There is a youth movement going on and with any youth movement, there’s a learning curve of a couple seasons before you see results.

Welcome to the beginning of the youth movement in St. Louis.

Blues fans will have to wait another season to see defenseman Erik Johnson again, who tore two ligaments in his right knee in a freak golf accident.

The Blues were able to go out and sign Steve Bernier away from the Canucks and he should help contribute on the offensive side of things.

For this team to have any success whatsoever, Bernier, Keith Tkachuk and Paul Kariya are going to have to take the team under their wings. Don’t expect much in St. Louis this year, but looking down the road a couple years should make Blues fans smile.

Northwest Division

#1 – Vancouver Canucks – Is this the year the underachieving Canucks finally take a run at the Cup? Not sure, but I do see them winning this wide open division.

The major knock against this team was the lack of offense they had. Basically if you scored 3 goals and some could argue even 2, you would win against these guys.

They are going to be without Markus Naslund who left for Broadway, Brendan Morrison and Trevor Linden.

At the draft they snagged Kyle Wellwood away from Toronto in a brilliant move. This kid is going to be a stud in the league for years to come. They also added veteran Pavol Demitra to the mix. If Demitra can stay healthy, he’s a proven scorer and could ignite some more guys to get in on the act.

The best aspect of this team is their defense and especially in net with Roberto Luongo. Look, Luongo is a fantastic goalie, but he needs help. If the Canucks can find the back of the net, Luongo can lead them to the promised land.

#2 – Edmonton Oilers – This was one of the busiest teams in the league during the summer. They acquired a major threat on the blue line in Lubomir Visnovsky from the Kings. To make room for Visnovsky, the Oilers shipped Joni Pitkanen to Carolina for Erik Cole and sent Torres was sent to Columbus for Brule.

They are returning with a young core of guys including Dustin Penner and Ales Hemsky who will need to continue to put up big numbers.

Sheldon Souray is returning from an injury plagued season and I would think he would play with Visnovsky. I’d be afraid to skate into the zone with those two on the ice. Seriously, keep your head up.

A lot of people are taking these guys to win the division. I’m not totally sold yet, but I’m encouraged by what I’ve seen so far.

#3 – Calgary Flames – I’m not so sure about the moves they made this summer. They allowed guys like Eric Godard, Owen Nolan and Alex Tanguay to get away.

They then went out and got Mike Cammalleri Curtis Glencross nd Rene Bourque. I like those acquisitions for the most part and thought they were on a war path to the division title.

They follow this up by adding in glassjaw Andre Roy and inexplicably go out and sign Todd Bertuzzi. I don’t understand the Bertuzzi move at all considering we are only a few years removed from one of the most horrific moments in NHL history, which ironically happened between two teams in this division. Now he’s back in the division with a different squad.

Anyway, the Flames do have one of the better goaltenders in the league in Miikka Kiprusoff. However, Kipper has looked a little old over the last couple seasons. Maybe it’s the lack of consistency the team has shown that’s getting to him, but we’ll see.

It will be up to Jarome Iginla to spark the team and if the new guys step up and produce, this is another team that could win the division.

#4 Minnesota Wild – This is kind of low for a playoff team from last season, I know. However, these guys lost some very key guys and are on the verge of losing another.

Gone are forwards Brian Rolston and Demitra. Mark Parrish is also gone after being bought out. The one guy who may be on his way out? Marian Gaborik. The Wild and Gaborik are trying to get a long-term extension worked out and if that doesn’t happen expect a blockbuster trade to happen sooner than later.

If Gaborik leaves town, that would mean the entire top line from last year is gone and a big chunk of the second line is gone as well.

The new additions of Nolan and Antti Miettinen from Dallas will help, but they’re not Demitra, Rolston and Gaborik.

This is shaping up to be a bad season for the Wild, but I didn’t expect them to do as well as they did last year either. Maybe they’ll do it again, but it’s going to be very tough.

#5 Colorado Avalanche – This is a team that just keeps getting older and as a result it’s going to be a long year in Denver.

Joe Sakic has returned and the team brought in Darcy Tucker from Toronto. They also locked up defenseman John-Michael Liles to a long-term deal. Those moves are solid and all, but what did they do to help the biggest weakness being goaltending?

Not a whole lot.

Peter Budaj will be the number one guy and he’s either on or he’s not. They lost Jose Theodore to the Capitals and replaced him with Andrew Raycroft. Razor was basically exiled from Toronto after his sub-par play with his big contract and is looking for another fresh start. I wouldn’t expect to see these guys in the playoffs, but stranger things have happened I suppose.

Pacific Division

#1 – Dallas Stars – Fresh off a Western Conference Finals appearance, the Stars are back and are poised to make another deep playoff run.

The Stars made a somewhat peculiar move in letting Miettinen walk and replaced him with super agitator Sean Avery.

Brad Richards was acquired at the trade deadline for goaltender Mike Smith and was a pleasant surprise during the stretch run and playoffs for Dallas. Now that he’s had a chance to play with the club and get used to his new surroundings, look for a big year out of Richards.

Mike Modano and Jere Lehtinen are another year older, but bring a veteran presence that you can’t put a price tag on. This division is the polar opposite of the Northwest, which is wide open due to mediocrity. The Pacific is wide open because there are 3 powerhouse teams and any one of them is deserving of this No. 1 spot.

#2 – San Jose Sharks – I don’t think any team improved its defense more than the Sharks this summer. I’m still in awe of what they were able to get.

They had Campbell who they got at the trade deadline. I was a bit puzzled to see the Sharks just let him leave town and not lock him up. Then they go out and land veteran Rob Blake from the Kings.

In addition to Blake, the Sharks made a trade and landed fantasy stud Dan Boyle and Brad Lukowich from the Lightning. That’s 3 guys who will vastly improve this defense and could very well shake the playoff curse that hangs over the Shark Tank.

Evgeni Nabokov proved he is a workhorse last season starting 77 out of 82 games last season and winning 46 of them. Maybe this time around the Sharks will tone his load back a little to keep him fresh for the playoffs.

Should that happen and Joe Thornton continue to light the way for the Sharks, this could be the year they give Stanley a tan.

#3 – Anaheim Ducks – At face value, this is the exact same team as last year’s roster. The only major acquisition was Morrison from the Canucks.

However, last season both Teemu Selanne and Scott Niedermayer delayed retirement and joined the team late in the season. This time around, both are signed and ready to go on opening night. They’ll have their skating legs under them and regardless of what they have in the tank still, you know they will produce.

Jean-Sebastien Giguere is once again the main guy between the pipes and I must say, a very solid fantasy choice. He finished last season with 35 wins in 58 games with a 2.12 GAA and .922 save percentage. You’d be crazy not to pick him in your drafts.

Either way, the Ducks have a ton of young talent with Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry and former number-two draft pick Bobby Ryan. Ryan should be on the opening night roster and if the hype about him is correct, he could make a huge impact.

#4 – Phoenix Coyotes – The Fighting Gretzky’s just missed out on the playoffs last season and could very well be in the hunt again this year. The biggest problem for them is that they’re in a division with the Stars, Sharks and Ducks.

The Coyotes improved by subtraction this offseason. Gone are defensemen Keith Ballard and Nick Boynton, both dealt to Florida for Olli Jokinen.

I absolutely loved this move. Jokinen figures to be a top line player and they unloaded two defensemen, who are average at best. Yes, they’re physical guys but I would have done the same thing to get Jokinen.

The other move that could end up looking more brilliant than it was last season, is the signing of goaltender Ilya Bryzgalov who will need to be solid once again for this team to have a shot.

#5 Los Angeles Kings – Well, the good? Anze Kopitar, Alexander Frolov, Patrick O’Sullivan and Dustin Brown are a very nice core to have. Defensemen Jack Johnson is also a nice commodity to have on you team, even with how young he is.

The bad? That’s about all that’s on this team. Rob Blake and Visnovsky are gone from the top defense pairing, another scoring threat in Cammalleri is also gone and they have no goaltending to speak of. Jonathan Bernier is still a year away or so, but unless he gets a defense to play in front of him, it will be a rough go of it.

Jason Labarbera and Erik Ersberg may not be bad goaltenders on paper. However, there’s a saying that a goalie is only as good as his defense. In this case, these guys are in trouble.

Baring a miracle of Biblical proportions, the only thing the Kings will be battling for in the Spring is the No. 1 draft pick.

5 Best Announcers In Sports

As promised at the end of the last installment, here is the list of the top 5 announcers in sports.

#5 Marv Alberts

I know what you're thinking, "Really? Alberts? I can list at least 10 other people who should be on this list."

You know what, you're probably right, but Marv gets the nod for two reasons.

Reason number 1: His trademark "For the win....YES!!" when someone wins at the buzzer has worked itself into my watching of other sports. For example this year's NHL Winter Classic. Sidney Crosby with the game on his stick. First thing out of my mouth to Gopher was the above line. This is just one example on a long list of things this has been used in.

Reason number 2: Celebrity Death Match's Death Bowl 1998. Pamela Anderson's breasts bounce back into place and Marv is stuck on repeat "Let's see that again...YES!" for the entire show. Classic. Him being made famous in clay gets him on the list.

#4 Gary Thorne

This man is one of the reasons I wanted to get into sports in the first place. I always enjoyed watching hockey on television, but Thorne brought the viewer into the game like few can.

I'm amazed that Bill Clement can even hear anything today after being in the booth with Thorne for years. Thorne was like you and I watching our favorite team. He lived and died with every play. You could hear his heart jump up into his throat when someone drilled the post in overtime.

One of the greatest things EA Sports could have done was putting Thorne in their NHL series games. I'd sit there with the volume cranked just to hear Thorne scream. It didn't matter if I was up 12 goals in the second period. That game never got old.

Here's a message to ESPN. Please for the sake of all hockey fans in this country bring back hockey. Thorne shouldn't be calling baseball, he needs to be calling hockey. The man makes the Little League World Series feel like it's a life or death situation and the kids are 11 and 12 years old. Bring hockey back!

#3 Gus Johnson

Can you really picture March Madness without this man? You know you count down the hours or sit impatiently through Selection Sunday just to hear Johnson go nuts during the 16 vs. 1 drubbing. Never mind if that 16-seed is keeping it close through the first half like Fairleigh Dickenson three years ago.

If Johnson calls the eventual 16-seed upset, there better be paramedics nearby to revive him. Gus Johnson is by far the most entertaining basketball announcer out there. Imagine if he and Marv teamed up for the NCAA tourney? As if you wouldn't tape every game as proof that something that unreal actually happened when you woke up from the self-induced coma after watching your office pool bracket go up in flames?

#2 Mike Emrick

My roots are in hockey and as a result of living in the NY/NJ market I get the pleasure of hearing Emrick go nuts in the booth all the time. As the main man for the New Jersey Devils he actually makes their games entertaining even if the team plays the most boring hockey on the planet.

I especially love listening to him call non-Devils games on Versus and NBC. His call of Crosby's winner in the Winter Classic had me jumping around my basement throwing fist pumps and yelling at the top of my lungs.

The Mrs. had just left for work so there was no potential of landing a haymaker and having to explain to the cops that I was overly excited about my team winning an unbelievable hockey game. It might fly in Canada, but I highly doubt it would here.

Anyway, I don't care who's playing if Doc is calling the game. Like Thorne he just appreciates a good hockey game and if I wasn't a Penguins fan he'd be numero uno.

#1 Mike Lange

If you are a Pens fan you know and love Mike Lange. How can you not? With all his wacky sayings after goals that have you laughing while cheering? It's impossible to not like the man.

My personal favorite line is when the Pens get on the board early in the game. "Get in the fast lane grandma, the bingo game is ready to roll!" His sayings make no hockey sense at all, but that's what makes him great. Lange gets so into the game. Yes he's biased toward the Pens, but he also gives the other team credit for good goals and nice plays.

For a long list of lines that Lange uses CLICK HERE AND ENJOY

I have a small bone to pick with FSN Pittsburgh though. Last year I finally decided to get the NHL Center Ice package and as soon as I got off the phone with the cable company I was beaming with the thought of listening to Lange.

Literally one week later, FSN announced that they were letting him go. This put a damper on why I even bought the package in the first place. Then the Pens announced he would be the radio man. At this point I decided I could watch the games on television and listen to Lange's goal calls over the net.

If you think I'm joking, ask the Mrs. who just looks at me and shakes her head whenever Lange says one of his classic lines.

Thus completes the top 5 list. Stay tuned for updates on the fantasy team's recent surge up the standings as we close in on the playoffs and how Gopher is growing more and more anxious for my entire team to be involved in freak accidents.